Finding Myself

Home alone and quiet fills the room. Every once in a while a visit from Henry, a phone call or a visit interrupts the process. When days are filled with rush and hurriedness you forget who you are, where you are going and where you want to go. You quickly forget the accomplishments you want to achieve.

These precious quiet days are filled with thought. Thoughts of what got lost along the way, feelings that have yet to be felt, and memories waiting to be captured.

I am my own worst critic. I am hard on myself, often criticizing and second guessing every move I make. Time to make choices that will make a difference. Like it or not, choices are made that leave others unhappy and others happier.

Working as a full-time teacher and pushing myself to become the photographer that I want to be, leaves little time for self-invoking thought. However, summer offers the opportunity to be "re-born."

Tears and fears of being scared, hurt, or sadness on the surface make me want to quit. To surrender to the "easy life." The life of one job, security and ordinary. However, that thought only lingers a short while. The tears and fears then push me to work harder, to achieve more, to be the photographer/the teacher that others only dream about.

I am ready to push the boundaries. I am ready to accomplish the life I dream about. This journey I will begin will have boundaries and policies. Boundaries and policies that I too will have to follow. I am a artist, a business owner, a teacher, but I am also a wife, daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, and friend to others. I have to find the balance to achieve but also to love.

Life is short. If you are lucky enough to live to 80, you get 29,200 mornings to awake to. Are you living the life you dream about or do you succumb to the pressures of what others want and expect out of you?


*Do you trade your knowledge, experience, and expertise for what others expect and want from you?